I did it.

4.0 my first semester of grad school.

My first 4.0 ever.

Wahoo!

Okay. I'm an idiot.

There is something seriously wrong with my computer. My computer won't download the Microsoft Updates, which really isn't that huge of a deal, except in order to get through Peace's log in system to the internet, my computer has to have the updates. Last week, I worked with the guy in the IT department to individualy download most of the updates so my computer only had to get like 2 and it still wouldn't do it. So we tried to set my computer system back to August 1st to see if that would get whatever is on my computer fixed, blah blah blah.

So I'm screwed. My computer system won't go back to August 1st which is really bad apparently.

So the computer guy says that I need to get the System Reboot CD for my computer and we can fix everything. Fine and dandy right? NO!

I can't find the fucking CD. I need help. Many of my friends on here know much much much more about computers than I do. I need your help. Please. I'm begging, help me, before I have an anxiety attack.

If you know where I put the CD let me know. I've turned my apartment upside down.
If you know where I can find another CD that would make my day.
If you have other ingenious suggestions, other than to use my laptop as a door stop, I will love you forever even more than I do now.

:)

The thing is, I don't think you'll even see how much those few words hurt.

I wish I understood why people think they know me better than I know myself.

Or am I the one who is wrong here and everyone else knows me better than I know myself?

* I was at work from 9:00 a.m. until 11:15 p.m.
* I came back to my apartment twice, once for 15 minutes to put something together for a resident, once for 10 minutes to grab shit.
* I am tired.
* I spent two hours blowing up 100something balloons for every one of my residents, every RA on campus, and in a suck up attept - one for the President.
* I emailed my friends back like a good little girl.
* I ordered the 1st Season of Grey's Anatomy with the money my daddy sent me rather than flowers - such a smart man.
* I'm going to peel the contacts out of my eyes, wash my face, brush my teeth, and crawl into bed. I think sleep will come faster tonight as compared to last night where I laid in bed for two hours before I feel asleep.

Goodnight.

I hate to admit that I like trash TV, but OH MY GOD!

Are you watching The Bachelor?!?! Because you should be. Sarah Tennessee better win! She's the only one who is in that house and remotely "real"! The others are just a bunch of superficial bitches!


P.S. - I am never eating Pizza Hut again purely for highering obnoxiously high pitched Jessica Simpson and that stupid fucking "Boots Are Made for Walking" song in a crappy ass tune that gets stuck in my head to sell pull apart pizza!

One thing I love about being me...

I am completely okay with picking up a 400 page book on Sunday afternoon and spending hours reading it. I love that I just want to devour it. I am completely okay with the fact that I would rather go to bed an hour later than I had planned on, cutting into my precious beauty sleep to read those extra couple pages. I love the how satisfying it feels to say it took me less than 4 days to finish 400 pages. I love how I picture the characters in my mind, and feel their feelings inside of me. I love how the thoughts, topics, and ideas put in front of me and into my head by books challenges my thoughts and preconcieved notions.


So I read a good book. Or two or a hundred. And I've got a few more good books to read, or ten or a hundred.

I think I'll go grab another good book off the shelf.

So I haven't wrote a lot about my job in here but today was just wonderful. First of all I had an amazing talk with a staff member that just needed someone to listen. My heart really goes out to her, she's a great kid. Second, I went to pick up our small staff tshirts. They were a surprise to the other staffs and everyone loves them! Even the Dean thinks that they are great. Then finally, my staff has been really devious and sneaky lately. I knew they were up to something but had absolutely no idea what it was. They all come busting into my room tonight with a calendar for me! They took pictures of themselves individually and together so I now have a calendar with them in it. Of course being the goofball RAs that my staff are they took semi-scandalous pictures of themselves. Tomorrow we are figuring out how to get it laminated and bound.

Oh! And Ms. Lindsay Gayle Sparks informed me that she has bought her plane ticket to come celebrate my 23rd birthday with me in March!

Ahhhh! I love it!

I'll get home to Valpo probably around 10 or 11 the night of the 18th.

Monday night, the 19th, we are going out hookers!
And that means you!

I just finished writing the last check to pay off my second student loan.

It feels really good to be over half ways done paying my loans off, but it will feel even better when I'm completely done. 

So I haven't been that fabulous of a friend lately because I haven't stayed up to date with my friends so here is an attempt to catch you all up a little bit. And once I get a hold of Cass, there will hopefully be pictures to help explain my stories.

First, welcome to Peace College. This building is mine, or so I like to say. :) This is Main, the building that I live in. The middle porch is right outside of the door to my apartment. BEAUtiful. I love it. My other building, Frazier, is off to the right.


Here are some pictures of my cute little apartment. I'm still working on decorating, that is hanging things up and such since I live in a Res. Hall. Please note that I live in a Res Hall, so I can't exactly paint my apartment. But I can put holes in the walls! (Which aren't cinder block.)

View when you come in the door to the left.

View of my column in my apartment and my cute little book corner.

What you see when you come in the front door of my apartment. It's just a straight shot through.

One corner of my kitchen. There is at least one A over every door way in my apartment. Cute, huh?

The other side of my kitchen. Really my kitchen just serves as a hallway.

My messy bedroom. Obviously today I didn't make the bed.

Since I haven't seen many of you since who knows when here is a picture of me with my two fellow RDs for on of their birthdays and then one of our start of the year celebration with my boss. I don't have bangs anymore! At least ones that fall in front of my eyes!



So here is the update on the last week of my life.
Last Thursday I got in a car accident. I was bringing a resident home from the hospital at 7:30 in the morning, was definitely rockin my glasses rather than contacts and couldn't put sunglasses on. So as I'm driving east bound, right into the sun, I thought the light at an intersection was green but apparently, obviously, it was red. Anywho, we got hit. Bad. Luckily everyone was wearing their seatbelts so the worst injury to was my student in the passenger seat who had to get three stitches in her face after being cut from the passenger seat window shattering. I was lucky enough to only get a nice goose ege of a bruise on my knee which hit the steering wheel and a black and blue polka dotted boob from the seat belt. As you can see from the following pictures, Bessie, my lovely little car was totalled.

Did I mention they had to cut the door off?

Look Bessie is blinking at you!

Notice the slightly crushed window and engine.

That would be the door to my car. It looks a bit more like an accordian than an actual door.

That happen last Thursday, the declared my car totalled last Friday, I looked at cars on Saturday (meanwhile got to drive around in a huge ass Jeep Laredo rental), rested on Sunday, Dad came into town on Monday and I bought a new car. :) :(

I'm still deciding how I feel about a new car really. Don't get me wrong my new car is gorgeous. I bought a 2002 Toyota Camry. It's black and beautiful. But it was a bit expensive and puts a slight damper in my plan to work for the next two years, pay off some student loans, and save a bit of money too. On the other hand, this car should last a damn long time. Still, it just seems kind of wrong that Bessie is gone and now I have a new car. Anyways, I got to pick up my new car yesterday. As soon as it is daytime out and I have my camera in my hand I'll take a picture of its' beautifulness.

In the meantime I've also be rocking a gorgeous eye infection, which has left me makeupless and wearing glasses everyday.
And not that I don't love Peace College, but there server is like one giant trojan/virus/hacker so I had to delete IM off my computer. However, I'm just going to say screw it and download it again. But I can't leave my internet on all the time so if I'm here I'll try and have it on.

So that's the update on my life. I should have time this weekend to be a better friend and catch up with people.
I love you all.
:)

Auto response from Lollipop251: My last first large staff :-)

that away message brought me to tears.
i can't believe that a year has gone by since that was my away message. while i'm not home sick (most likely just pmsing, sorry guys) at this moment i really miss bloomington, foster, and my friends.

there is a lot i would give right now to be sitting in MY chair (yes, my chair, my ass sat in that same spot for 3 years) at the head of the foster table where with the perfect view i can see absolutely everything. either jared, jon, or jason were always on either side of me.

 

I suppose this entry is long over due.  A lot has happened since I last updated and while I wish I could go into detail on everything that has happened over the last 6 weeks, I'll instead provide my dearest friends who read this with a quick update and in turn be writing something for myself to reflect upon.

My summer in Cincinnati was amazing.  I don't know how else to describe it.  I met Andy's two little brothers who I ended up wishing were my little brothers.  They are the little brothers I never had.  I got to spend a lot of quality time with my little sister, which I loved every minute of.  I got to be around when she got her first "boyfriend" and catch them curling up to watch movies and holding hands.  I also got to hang out with my cousin Krista who is about the same age as Katelyn and has done an amazing job raising herself. 

My mom came down to Cincinnati, helped me pack up my big yellow Penske truck and my car and head to North Carolina.  The drive wasn't bad at all.  10 hours, a lot of hills, and some of the most gorgeous scenery I've ever laid my eyes on.  My mom helped me unpack, the rest of my family stopped by on their way home from vacation and everyone got to see my apartment.  It was really nice that they all got to see it. 

My apartment is amazing.  Each day I learn more and more to appreciate it.  Today I got to do something that I don't know that I've ever done in my entire life.  In my own bathtub, I got to run the hottest bubble bath, put in tons of bubble bath, turn on my cd, and light candles.  There I soaked for a half hour, in my tub, in my apartment, completely uninterrupted.  It was amazing. 

I love my job.  And it seems wierd to say that.  I knew I would fall in love with my job.  But the thing is it doesn't feel like a job at all.  I go to work each day to do the things that I basically did as an RA (and more of course!) and that never felt like a job.  My coworkers are pretty kick ass.  Leslie and her husband Philip are great.  Christina, she's great too.  We have our differences, but slowly we are learning to work through them.  My RA staff is amazing.  At first I didn't quite understand how we would click together.  But we do.  We're a perfect team!  :) 

Personally, I'm doing quite well.  There are definitely days that I miss being at home and around family and friends.  I don't think I'm doing a very good job of being a long distance friend, but I'm learning and hopefully as I further learn to balance my job and personal life, I will slowly learn how to balance my friends that seem to stretch further and further apart from one another in to my life more.  I think my friends would be proud to know that I am really challenging myself to go out and find friends in town, specifically male friends, for a future boyfriend.  Its been a long time since I've actually been able to say that I'm out there looking, seriously that is.

Ahh the joys of Livejournal.

I haven't updated in a long time due to limited internet access (roomie's computer), working 60 hours a week, and mostly no desire to type a thing on here.

For the past 5 weeks I have busted my butt at Kings Island. I make donuts (they are cake donuts with powdered sugar and cinnamon and come 12 to a bag for $2.99, or so I say about 50 times a day) and serve slushies (40 flavors, pick a flavor 10 bucks says we have it) all day long. Those 5 weeks or about 300 hours have left me with a lot of time to think.

I've thought about my friends a lot. I'm really truly saddened, or maybe more scared, but the number of friends that have came in and out of my life in the past 8 years. I look back on my group of friends from high school and I am amazed and proud of the relationships we still have. I know I could call Laura, Jackie, Rach, or Will in a heartbeat and we just pick up where we left off. At the same time I look at these friendships and know that I have been a shitty friend. I don't talk to Will enough, she was my roommate for pete's sake. I wish I knew more of what was going on in Jackie and Rach's lives, but I just don't know what to do. This I am determined to work on. I look at my college friends and question what friendships were based on, how much did we really know about one another and where does a friendship end? Does it? Honestly, I'm really sad that Lindsay and I aren't as close as we used to be. A lot of shit happened this year that definitely helped hurt that friendship. But I really think it was on both of our parts. Cass and I hit a rough spot at the end of the year. I don't know what will happen. I really don't, only time will tell. Greg wouldn't even come out when I went back to Bloomington for one night. Figures. And then there is Chrissy, she's an amazing friend. I'm scared I'll lose her when she leaves for Ireland, but I guess it all goes back to trying.

It's wierd when I'm here and I'm not surrounded by my friends and I work while the world plays. I'm surrounded by people who aren't my age, but I must say I've had a ridiculous amount of fun with them not acting my age. Who would have thought that I'd still be having pillow fights like a little kid after a 12 hour long shift.

Working at least 60 hours a week has also left me a lot of time to question my work ethic. I busted my ass through college. I wasn't there to screw around or have fun, I was there to get the job done and have a little bit of fun which I did. And now I'm here doing the same thing. I'm here to get the job done, the hours in, bust my ass and hopefully have a little bit of fun. When I move to North Carolina, I want to have as much fun as I work. I still want to go above and beyond with my job, after all that's what the hired me for so that is what they will get. However, I want to enjoy my life a little more than I have in the last 3 years. I want to do things for myself.

Maybe that's why I'm writing this. So I can kindly remind myself to put a few things in front of work. Like having a life and enjoying it which is most easily done when you know that you have the love and support of friends and family to push you along.

Well, roomie's alarm clock is going off. I have to go beat her to the shower. More another time.

P.S. I have 5 roomies. On average.

i tried.
i guess that's all i can do.

p.s. i'm druink. but i did my best when i was sober.
did i mention its my last nigth in bloomington?

today was some tears
tomorrow will be all tears.

Crying when saying goodbye to my residents has officially started.
I didn't think I'd miss the little shits this much, but in the bottom of my heart I knew I would.

And so it ends.

Damn this thing and losing my post.

So I'm one week away (or so) from heading to Oshkosh Wisconsin to interview for jobs for next year.
I have 12 interviews set up and am really happy with who I got interviews with.

North Dakota State University
University of Missouri-Rolla
Illinois Wesleyan University
Carleton College
St. Norberts College
Lakeland College
Lawrence University
Peace College
Morningside College
University of Wisconsin-Platteville
Beloit
Missouri Western State College

I think I'm done scheduling unless I feel that something amazing drops in my lap. All of the schools are west of here except for Peace College which is in North Carolina. Start mapquesting the differences so you can figure out how long of a drive it will be to come visit! :)

All in all things are crazy. I just want the next three weeks to be over with. In between now and then I have an enormous amount of school work that has to be done on top of being out of town for 4 days.

Its okay though, I'll survive.

Bitches. I'm in town.
Anyone want to do something tomorrow (Wednesday) night?
Or Thursdsay?
Bars?
Fun?

Who knows. Leave a message on here or call my cell.